ulife journal: Emotional Duality

• Giving feedback – anxiety & dread of the conversation paired with optimism & hope for the future should the feedback have the right impact
• Receiving feedback – irritation, defensiveness, or righteousness along with gratitude that the other person shared information you can use to improve
• Announcement of a change – fear or resistance over top of excitement and curiosity
• Mistake made – embarrassment in failure yet pride in the learning that occurred
• Systems breakdown – frustration and anger with the IT department, mixed with the excitement of overcoming a new challenge

Take the first example: how often do you put off saying what needs to be said because you pay more attention to your discomfort (the louder emotions)? Yet you know that once the conversation occurs, most people will process the feedback and correct their course.

So, recognize that multiple emotions are present. Name them. Notice if one overwhelms and stops you from moving forward. Lean into that one, and be drawn THROUGH the negative into the positive. You’ll find that positive action is easier when you work from a positive emotional energy source.

Remember: Leadership is not about a title – anyone can be a leader when they focus on helping others succeed!